My Death
I feel trapped within my own body.
It is like my shell is confining the things within me, squeezing me until my heart hurts.
Soon, the ribcage will fall..
And, the bones attached together will fall apart..
And, my heart will finally be pierced.
I will feel the pain..
But, as I am sick.. I might dismissed it as another sickness..
And, as I go about my life..
The blood from my heart will flow away..
Rapidly.. Swiftly.. Never coming back.
The color from my face drain..
But, you might not even noticed it..
As you walk about.. Talking to people..
Not even glancing at me.
I feel unwanted..
As you discuss personal problems with others..
Especially girls..
Am I just thin air?
Or, is it because you fear I will be sad?
Your actions made me jealous..
Your actions made me sad..
I feel so pained..
That I wish that I was dead..
Do you know that?
For what is the use I share your life?
But, I can't even share your dreams and wants and needs with you?
Or, am I just invading your personal space?
Your ever-expanding personal space?
Your lies are the worst..
That, I can't deny.
It stabbed me through the heart..
Speeding the process faster and faster..
I just don't get it.
What in the world must you lie to me about?
Because you cannot told me the truth all the time?
Because you may protect me from being jealous?
Because you may protect me from being mad?
Especially at you?
As my heart bleeds faster..
Let me tell you this.
SURE.
You may protect me for awhile..
But, when I found out the truth from SOMEONE ELSE..
Your actions were not helping at all..
It is that sad. A scorpio's life.
Easily angered, easily jealous..
No matter how bad..
No matter how sad..
A scorpio always come back.
Because their heart was given away..
And no matter how you try to give it back..
It won't work..
Because it is yours for eternity..
Forever yours to keep.
So, my heart keeps on bleeding as I live out my life..
Unaware that I am dying..
Unaware that my life is ending..
As the final blow was given..
My heart throbs and contracted too much..
So much that you can say my heart just self-suicide..
I fell down on the empty road side..
No one was near enough..
No one noticed and give aid..
So, my last moments of death was spent on that particular roadside..
Tears flowing down my eyes..
My pain was infinity..
I wonder whether you would notice it..
Because our bond should be strong enough for you to notice..
I wonder whether I should hold on..
Just to catch another glimpsed of you..
Your hair..
Your eyes..
Your body..
Your warmth..
Your hands..
Your heart..
Your smile (although it may be impossible for you to do)..
Your voice..
Your words..
Just you.
I feel less attached now..
I can barely hear my own breathing..
I wanted to see you once more..
Just one glance..
Just gimme one second.
But, I just can't control..
My own death.
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