Letters from an Onion 🧅 : Sun rays
"A tiny part of my heart is so happy to see him safe and laughing
The other part is a black pit that threatens to suck all of me into it
He is happy without me
He is laughing without me
But.. what about me?"
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I.. wanna be a part of their lives
I stretch out my hand
Like the leaves of a plant
Trying to get some of their sunlight
Trying to get some warmth.. some happiness within
But, whenever I felt like I could almost touched it
My fingers would slip right through it
The rays of the sun
And, I would stop again, hesitating
Looking at my hand as I remember
That I cannot own the sun
No matter how much I want it in my life
And inside me, a pit would grow
Ever expanding, ever hungry
Getting heavier and heavier as I close my eyes
Threatening to consume me from within
Making me feel like.. like there is really not much worth to live
The rays of the sun seem to shine ever so brightly
But, they never choose to shine upon me
It would always be on another flower that has the focus
As I blend into the scenery
Ever forgotten, ever not important
For I dare not ask for some sun rays
For what if it was frowned upon
If it was never mine to begin with
Any rays of sun I ask for.. means lesser for someone else
And, this I do not want
.. but, I am starving
I am hungry
I am dying..
How long must I
keep walking
keep looking
keep helping
keep waiting
before I can call you mine?
Or, was it never meant to be?
You should always know I wish for your happiness even without me.
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