Tomorrow

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.. "

For the first time in my life, the word "tomorrow" will never be in my dictionary again. The engines of the airplane I had boarded on earlier was a distant "whirring" sound to my ear as my mind slowly cleared from the misty fog. Shock was still embedded in me as I pondered over the deep, permanent scar that slashed through me when the events happened just now.

2012. The year the film was named after. The film that most critics criticised about was rumoured to be based on actual science facts that predicted what would happen that year. I remembered holding his warm hands and hearing his laughter combining in the melodies of our friends' voices. If one noticed it well, you would have thought we were a walking choir. We were leaving the cinema after watching the blockbuster movie of year 2009 - 2012. It was amazing how they had created so many cool sound effects and how realistic the movie seem. But, that is what I am worried about. My forehead lines creased as my worries started to appear.

"It is too realistic. "

I agreed with my mind. As the angel in me began inhaling enough oxygen to have enough breath to debate with the devil in me, he interrupted their fight by tugging at my hand. My downcast eyes and moody face looked at him. In his brown eyes, I saw his eyes widen with worry as he saw my somber look. "What's wrong?" I shook my head at his question and began socialising with my friends who did not noticed anything. But, I knew he was worried as I cheerfully talked the day away more than usual.

That night, I was not my usual self. None of my family members realised that I became more self-centered and introvert. They thought I was my usual self and had not bothered to observed my actions. I thought about possibilities and escape routes if the scene in the film ever happened, but I couldn't see a soluton no matter how I tried.

"None of us are rich enough to build a submarine with a lot of food and gas supply. Besides, who can even drive a submarine or an airplane? "

I frowned. I am not of age to even begin lessons although I am sure private instuctors can be hired with the help of one's cash. But, I am not your bratty, rich girl. I am just a typical average girl who just wants to have a normal life. It seems that he is worried too. Lately, his calls signified that he wants our relationship to evolve as soon as possible because he is afraid that he won't get a chance to do so. It pained me as I rejected him over and over again while reminding him that it is not the time yet. But, deep down..

"I wish I can do it too.. Without any fear.. Just feeling the love surrounding us as I lay in his arms.."

"Ya right."

"Shut up, angel."

"So, now you are on the devil's side too?"

I quickly came out from my day-dreaming. It was not going to help my problem and definitely cannot solve any global warming issues either. Besides, I hated arguing with the "angel" side of me. It felt wrong. Anyhow, I did not sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning about that it made my back hurt.

Time passed.

Graduation..

SPM results..

Going into Form 6..

Keeping in touch with him..

Studying..

Going out with him..

STPM..

The day STPM ended was one of relief. Once out of the familiar blue school gates, he was waiting for me in that second-hand car of his with the aircond on at full blast. I did not complained when I went in and strapped my seat belt. The sudden cold air that blast through your hair and clothes when it is soaked with sticky sweat is making one comfortable and cooling.

As he drives along the road towards our place for lunch, I turned on the radio and listened to the news. For some time now, troublesome and disturbing news greeted us as usual.









tO b3 conTinu3d..