Sayonara
My eyes scanned the horizon as the wind danced through the strands of my hair. I was not focused about my surroundings. They were blurry to me as they are not important anymore. I swung my legs about while my hands were touching the grass below my butt. Surprisingly, the grass was not pointy as usual but rather soft to the touch for the first time. For the first time, Mother Nature showed some sympathy towards my troubles.
Life was okay for me if it was not for the hurting that people around me had to go through. Every single time a person that I cared for got hurt, it was like being stabbed in the heart and pushed off a cliff. I do not mind the death, except for the fact that it only mentally exists inside me and it is repeatable every time it was ticked off by someone getting hurt.
Three. The number three existed and evolved around me in my life. Three people whom I cared most about. They were close to me once, but they seem to be drifting away from me. Like a hunter on the prowl for prey, they drifted into my life and they drifted away. I wonder whether they knew the scars and the hurt they left behind in their wake. I wonder whether they actually remember all the good times we had and how I wished, silently wished, that I could just live in those happy moments again.
He was once the most important person in my life. No one, not even my family could replaced him. I did everything for him; even gave everything possible to him. Through thick and thin, we travel paths and climbed through deep holes just to continue down the path together. In fact, I never imagined life without him. That is.. until I begin to slowly let go of his hand. For the first time, I wanted to travel the path on my own. I begin jogging, eventually, this led to running. He begin panting while trying to keep up with me. He begin running while trying to catch hold of my hand. Over time, as we both fell through holes and slipped through mud, I did not wait for him nor help him. Instead, as soon as I was free, I begin to continue my journey. Had I looked back, I would have saw the hurt in his eyes that was accompanied by tears waiting to be shed..
I met him for the first time on my quest to become more sociable. At first glance, he was kind of cute and really, really crazy about games. I really do not know what to make of him, but I just knew that it would be cool to have a new friend at that time. At the time when I found him, he was at the side of the road. If you did not look closely, you would have noticed that he was just a typical average guy. However, upon closer inspection, I noticed that whenever he stopped by at night to rest, he would become solitary. Those eyes of his became more deep and his usual smile would disappear. It was sad to see that, and I begin observing him more and more. As time passed, he began to open up his life; his chapter of sadness. I wanted to help him, but could not really do much. All I could do was be by his side. Eventually, no matter how close I could be to him, he eventually drifted away from me. His feelings were not stable, and I am not surprised when he was interested in someone else. In fact, to just see her walking closer to him as we travel along the road, I was sad and hurt. Our feelings towards each other grew distant. There was no mistaking it. He changed. The person I thought I could rely on was no more. He became a different person. I do not know him now. Every time, I would smile when I see him. But, am I really that important? He asked other people, thought about other people and even called other people. But, what about me? Is he really that confident I would always find him in the end no matter how he treated me? Out of respect and responsibility, I pushed her towards him during one of the walks on the road before running away. The key that I always wore - I dropped it onto the path so that he would be distracted if he ever decided to run after me. That is, if he even decided to. I never wanted to look back ever since.
This one is a peculiar one. I met him unexpectedly walking along the road and decided to see how his' life has been up until now. It seems, to our great surprise, we had a lot in common. The feeling was phenomenal. It was as if, this person was with me through my whole life, but invisible to my eyes. We enjoyed each other's company as we travel on the road. We chatted a lot and for the first time for so long, I felt like I was not so alone after all. After all, here is a person that I could just tell him anything. The road, however, started to become broken and torn. Each of us, no matter how we wanted to, could not help the other but could only stood by the side. I did not show my true feelings, but I seriously just wanted to go over and hug him every time his eyes showed great pain. Every time he struggled to climb out of the hole, I wished that I could give him my hand and said, "It's alright. I'm here." But, how could I? All the promises I told him, all was broken and buried unwillingly. I could do nothing. My master came and held the chains of my leash tightly. I was struggling the whole time; choking against the unbreakable collar. But, I could not break free. I was bound eternally. When I was led away from him, I tried not to look back. I knew that whatever I see if I did, I will regret for eternity.
That is right. I have a master. I gave him my heart, my life and most important of all, my soul. When I made the unbreakable promise, I wore the unbreakable collar as he held the leash. My life, my destiny was in his hands from that moment onwards. I never thought I would regret it, but slowly, I did. I missed the past when all the three above could live in harmony in my life. But, Life caught up with me and pushed me along another path. This path was muddy and hard to walk on. It was full of vines and thorns that clinged to my clothes. As I walk, I was frightenly aware of the hollow sounds of the echo of my own empty heart. For once, there was no sound of my own beating heart. There was hardly any light and I did not know where I was walking to. But, it does not matter. All I knew, is that I just have to keep walking straight.
At the end, I saw the sea and the distant horizon. I heard the songs of the seagulls and the smell of the saltwater. I sat down on fairly soft grass as the wind danced gracefully through my hair. I knew what I had to do next. All the memoirs of my life, along with the sweet memories I treasured the most, I replayed it in my mind and heart. They were the only possessions I have in life and I really, really appreciated it. As I stood up, I looked around. My master was nowhere to be seen. This was a perfect opportunity.
I took one step forward. The air could not support my weight and I begin falling off a very high cliff towards the sea below. But, this was not what I see. I closed my eyes and felt the wind accompanying me down this dangerous dive. I could feel the spray of saltwater on my body as Poseidon's Kingdom welcomed me. The memories were one of the last things on my mind. I miss my past.
But, all I could think was,
"Sayonara".
tO b3 conTinu3d..
p.S.
我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
多年之後 任何人都無法代替
那些時光是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶 依然無法忘記 ..
Life was okay for me if it was not for the hurting that people around me had to go through. Every single time a person that I cared for got hurt, it was like being stabbed in the heart and pushed off a cliff. I do not mind the death, except for the fact that it only mentally exists inside me and it is repeatable every time it was ticked off by someone getting hurt.
Three. The number three existed and evolved around me in my life. Three people whom I cared most about. They were close to me once, but they seem to be drifting away from me. Like a hunter on the prowl for prey, they drifted into my life and they drifted away. I wonder whether they knew the scars and the hurt they left behind in their wake. I wonder whether they actually remember all the good times we had and how I wished, silently wished, that I could just live in those happy moments again.
He was once the most important person in my life. No one, not even my family could replaced him. I did everything for him; even gave everything possible to him. Through thick and thin, we travel paths and climbed through deep holes just to continue down the path together. In fact, I never imagined life without him. That is.. until I begin to slowly let go of his hand. For the first time, I wanted to travel the path on my own. I begin jogging, eventually, this led to running. He begin panting while trying to keep up with me. He begin running while trying to catch hold of my hand. Over time, as we both fell through holes and slipped through mud, I did not wait for him nor help him. Instead, as soon as I was free, I begin to continue my journey. Had I looked back, I would have saw the hurt in his eyes that was accompanied by tears waiting to be shed..
I met him for the first time on my quest to become more sociable. At first glance, he was kind of cute and really, really crazy about games. I really do not know what to make of him, but I just knew that it would be cool to have a new friend at that time. At the time when I found him, he was at the side of the road. If you did not look closely, you would have noticed that he was just a typical average guy. However, upon closer inspection, I noticed that whenever he stopped by at night to rest, he would become solitary. Those eyes of his became more deep and his usual smile would disappear. It was sad to see that, and I begin observing him more and more. As time passed, he began to open up his life; his chapter of sadness. I wanted to help him, but could not really do much. All I could do was be by his side. Eventually, no matter how close I could be to him, he eventually drifted away from me. His feelings were not stable, and I am not surprised when he was interested in someone else. In fact, to just see her walking closer to him as we travel along the road, I was sad and hurt. Our feelings towards each other grew distant. There was no mistaking it. He changed. The person I thought I could rely on was no more. He became a different person. I do not know him now. Every time, I would smile when I see him. But, am I really that important? He asked other people, thought about other people and even called other people. But, what about me? Is he really that confident I would always find him in the end no matter how he treated me? Out of respect and responsibility, I pushed her towards him during one of the walks on the road before running away. The key that I always wore - I dropped it onto the path so that he would be distracted if he ever decided to run after me. That is, if he even decided to. I never wanted to look back ever since.
That is right. I have a master. I gave him my heart, my life and most important of all, my soul. When I made the unbreakable promise, I wore the unbreakable collar as he held the leash. My life, my destiny was in his hands from that moment onwards. I never thought I would regret it, but slowly, I did. I missed the past when all the three above could live in harmony in my life. But, Life caught up with me and pushed me along another path. This path was muddy and hard to walk on. It was full of vines and thorns that clinged to my clothes. As I walk, I was frightenly aware of the hollow sounds of the echo of my own empty heart. For once, there was no sound of my own beating heart. There was hardly any light and I did not know where I was walking to. But, it does not matter. All I knew, is that I just have to keep walking straight.
At the end, I saw the sea and the distant horizon. I heard the songs of the seagulls and the smell of the saltwater. I sat down on fairly soft grass as the wind danced gracefully through my hair. I knew what I had to do next. All the memoirs of my life, along with the sweet memories I treasured the most, I replayed it in my mind and heart. They were the only possessions I have in life and I really, really appreciated it. As I stood up, I looked around. My master was nowhere to be seen. This was a perfect opportunity.
I took one step forward. The air could not support my weight and I begin falling off a very high cliff towards the sea below. But, this was not what I see. I closed my eyes and felt the wind accompanying me down this dangerous dive. I could feel the spray of saltwater on my body as Poseidon's Kingdom welcomed me. The memories were one of the last things on my mind. I miss my past.
But, all I could think was,
"Sayonara".
tO b3 conTinu3d..
p.S.
我依然愛你 或許是 命中注定
多年之後 任何人都無法代替
那些時光是我這一輩子最美好的
那些回憶 依然無法忘記 ..
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