Do You Know? T.T

Pain. It fills my heart endlessly where happiness should have filled. I want to be in this relationship. I want you to care for me. I want you to accompany me but I guess I am a bit too demanding and selfish here. But the least you could do is understand. I am living a lie, and when we argue. . It hurts a lot and I long for your presence very much to numb this pain in my heart.

I am very sorry for all my mistakes that I had cause you. If given the chance, I would not want you to pay the price. Tears are falling now. I feel as if you don’t want me around you like you did in the beginning. I understand. But I am not afraid to state that I will always love you as my dar till the end of time. I had vowed to protect you in the dark at all times and at all cost, so. .

I don’t care whether you leave me. I had given up asking you to do things you wish not to since I don’t want to upset you. Do you know I almost cry when you always reply that you don’t want to take care of yourself? Do you know I had tear-filled nights ever since that day? Do you know I had lost my appetite since I prove myself guilty of so many things, actions and mistakes?

I want you to be happy. More happy than you have ever been. I want you to take care of yourself. So that you will be independent when it comes to survival. The list goes on, but all I can tell you is that I put you first before me. To me, you are the most important person in my life and in my world.

I hate it when you are injured. I hate it when I cannot go to you to hug you and help you apply an antidote for your wounds. I hate it when I did not see you even after a day in school. I hate it most when my mistakes hurt you. For the first time, I experience hate. And I hate it.

I don’t care about my endless suffering. I care about yours. I don’t care when you hurt me. I care when I hurt you with my mistakes unintentionally. I don’t care about whom you direct your love to. I care about you receiving plentiful love. I don’t care about your bad habits. I care about mine affecting you badly. Lastly, I don’t care about anyone else. All I care about is only you. And, you alone.

I love you, I really do. Love is unexplainable as it is different to everybody. However painful it is, I am thankful as it gave me you. Dar, I need you because I love you. But if you wish to go and travel to another road, go. Don’t hold back.

P.s. This is the LAST time I will be writing my suffering in my blog. No use to dampen the mood of my readers.

I wish everyone well and happy always.

Take care.

<3 Sealed with a kiss and with all my heart which is now given to Dar, the only one I love..

tO b3 conTinu3d..