A Christmas Gift to Myself ☃
Ever since COVID, I have been winning and losing Sometimes I can fly high, but mostly it's kissing my dreams goodbye And my body finally had enough of it by giving me acne when I am 60.25kg And warning me of the future if I don't commit to what I know Cleanliness, exercise, and being stress-free Collagen, and always eating healthy It stresses me out every time I see what I used to be And self-criticism is my worst enemy It does not help when others add on to it It does not help when I am fighting against it I feel alone as I keep struggling and struggling Wasting money and knowing it is futile For my future is not set in stone But my current actions will cement it And still I keep doing everything fat and unhealthy Giving in to sins, wasting and eating And spiraling down this tunnel I go And spiraling down this self-hatred that I know When will I ever see the light again? When will I ever take the wheel again? For it seems that the more I try The harder it fights back And when ...